


you can hate me now

by boxesofflowers, Eeyoreneedsahug



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Angst, Evak - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, I will never hate Even, Insecurity, Love, M/M, isak assumes everyone is mad at him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-09-09 22:35:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8915608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boxesofflowers/pseuds/boxesofflowers, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eeyoreneedsahug/pseuds/Eeyoreneedsahug
Summary: "Do you hate me?” Isak has doubts and Even wants him to know he’s loved.





	

**Author's Note:**

> We are trash for angst. This is pretty much is just us noticing that Isak is always worried that people are mad at him to the point where other characters start with “Nobody’s mad.” and “I won’t be angry.” There’s a lot more to address here, but it’s a start. (Honestly Priscilla wrote most of this. Thanks Poe:))
> 
> -Chloë

_“I promise I won’t get angry.”_

_“I’m not mad at you, Isak.”_

_“Nobody’s mad at you. We’re just concerned.”_

_\----_

_“Our relationship went to hell after that. My whole life went to hell after that. So you have to tell me what you were thinking. Because I think it’s psycho. Why did you do it? What were you thinking?”_

_“He never loved you! He’s manic. You were just a sick idea. So just stay away.”_

_“I need some time.” ___

__\----_ _

__

__“Are you mad?” Isak asks almost as if he doesn’t want Even to hear. He’s quiet, almost whispering, refusing to look up from his hands. Even almost laughs, but stops when he sees his boyfriend’s face._ _

__They’re sitting on Even’s couch, separated by a few inches of dead space, pretending to watch some comedy that he can’t recall the name of. Isak had arrived only a few minutes before, and apart from tossing his coat on the bed and kicking off his shoes, had stayed frozen in his current position on one end of the couch._ _

__Even figured something was wrong, but knew better than to try and pry an answer out of his boyfriend._ _

__“Mad about what?” Isak shifts his gaze, and keeps it on Even, as if waiting for a sudden change._ _

__“I don’t know.” He looks back down at his hands, up at the screen, and again to Even. He turns off the television, and shifts so he’s facing Isak, his legs crossed on the cushions. He tries to fix his eyes on Isak with the same concentration, though his boyfriend’s anxious gaze won’t meet his own. Finally, he shakes his head. “Just forget it.”_ _

__“Why would you ask?” Even reaches out to grab one of his hands, but Isak quickly gets up off the couch._ _

__“Ah look! I have to go.” He looks halfheartedly at his watch. While he hadn’t been mad before, the whole thing is admittedly starting to make Even upset. He doesn’t say so, just grabs Isak’s hand before he has to chance to pull away again._ _

__“Sit.” He does, but doesn’t relax. He fidgets, hand covertly trying to worm its way out of Even’s grasp. “What’s going on?”_ _

__“I...nothing. Really. I’m fine. I should go though.” Isak tries to stand again, but Even puts a hand on his shoulder. They stare at each other for a few moments before Isak finally seems to gather the courage to speak. “Are you mad at me?” His voice is quiet, and he still keeps his eyes fixed on Even, as if to catch any fleeting facial expression or subtle shift that might indicate an answer._ _

__“No. I’m not mad, Isak.” The younger boy lets out a shuddering breath, letting his eyes finally fall. He nods his head slightly, but doesn’t relax his tense posture._ _

__“Ok.” He rubs his forehead like he’s got a headache, and Even contemplates what he can do._ _

__“Do you believe me?” He holds one of Isak’s hands in both of his, running his thumb over the boy’s knuckles._ _

__“Yeah. Sure. Yes.” Even inhales. Isak’s face says otherwise, and he’s not sure how to make it better. “It’s just, I came in and you were all serious and we haven’t kissed at all and I didn’t text you back the last few days, and I know I bailed last weekend for our date, so I thought maybe-” Even cuts off his rambling._ _

__“No. No, Isak. I didn’t...I didn’t even realize.” Isak still looks unconvinced. It’s then that Even begins to formulate an idea. “You know, if anyone should be mad at anyone, you should be mad at me.”_ _

__“I could never be mad at you!” Isak’s response is so vehement, Even catches himself about to laugh again. “That doesn’t...That wouldn’t-I’m the one who does stupid things. I say stupid things and I-”_ _

__“Why couldn’t you be mad at me, hmm?” This clearly catches Isak off guard, and he takes a moment before he responds. Even inches himself closer, the gap between them slowly closing._ _

__“I couldn’t. I love you.” He pauses, as if trying to find another reason. “I just couldn’t.” Carefully, slowly, Even moves his hand to the back of his neck, his fingers trailing over the pale, freckled, skin, a web of veins, the hem of his t-shirt, down to his collarbone. Slow, gentle, careful._ _

__“And you couldn’t hate me?” He’s quieter now, both of them are, but somehow it’s the only thing Isak can hear. Their breathing. Their voices. The sounds from the open window, the ticking of the alarm clock on Even’s bedside table, the soft hum of the hot water heater - it’s all gone._ _

__“No. Never.” the answer is easy, despite everything, and Isak closes his eyes. He doesn’t know why, but it feels better this way._ _

__“With all I’ve done? All I’ve put you through?” he looks up now, at Even, and misses a breath. It’s like a stab, remembering every low point they’ve had together. Somehow, though, he doesn’t care enough to change his mind._ _

__“Never.” With that, Even gives him a long, cautious kiss - one Isak wasn’t even beginning to suspect. His hand still rests on his chest, just below his throat. Even pulls away, but waits a moment to open his eyes again. When he does, he’s staring right at him. Serious and loving and careful._ _

__“Well. Isak.” The younger boy meets his gaze. “Maybe you’ve never stopped to think that I feel the same?” Isak looks down at his hands, one interlaced in Even’s, one clenched in his lap. “Because I do.”_ _

__Isak takes a heavy breath. He still feels the warmth of Even’s hand on his chest, he still feels the aftershock of the kiss._ _

__“You do.” he says, after what feels like an infinite silence. Even leans forward and kisses his cheek._ _

__“Yes. I do.” Isak smiles, letting out a soft laugh. He wants to cry._ _

__“Positive?” Even can tell he’s joking around now, from the way he moves his eyebrows and his lips. So he shrugs, trying to play along, and Isak shoves his shoulder, laughing. “So not 100% then?”_ _

__“No. Not quite. You know what would help though?” Their eyes are locked again now, but in a completely different way. This is the way Even likes - the excited way. The loving way._ _

__“What, asshole?” Even waits a moment, soaking in this brief moment of what feels like joy._ _

__“If someone, an expert really, were to make us some cheese sandwiches. I think that would help.” Isak pauses before he responds._ _

__“Guess you’ll have to make some then.” Even smiles._ _

__“Guess I will.”_ _

**Author's Note:**

> Send us prompts [HERE](http://poeandbeaux.tumblr.com/ask)!


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